After Trial Mingle

[deadlygoals]

[ Seems like everyone is either hiding from any blood bending, wanting to take the time to think, or just doing their on thing after a trial as long as that one is. So here's a general mingle for after the trial or the rest of the weekend. ]

Comments

cw suicidal ideation

[inordertobelieve]

[ The good part of having realized and accepted that you're not going to get out of something alive is that it brings with it some kind of clarity and calm. If he'd remained in his prison cell, Mikami is sure he might have reached this conclusion much faster. It was the seeming freedom of Krakow that made him cling to his life, believe in the vague idea that there might have been some sort of mistake. There isn't, he knows this now.

Mind-control and memory loss, the name he should not have known, the handcuffs, the warehouse, the dead body of a man who inspired so much feeling in him that it made him feel sick.... There's only so many conclusions this leaves. Mikami has decided not to fight them anymore.

He's failed. He's failed on every imaginable level. In some twisted way, this place is proving to be his last chance of making a use out of what remains of his life. He's guilty, but the Lady and Rembrandt are more so.

During much of the weekend Mikami can be found walking the city, a notebook in hand. The page he's on is mostly empty yet, so he doesn't seem to have a concrete plan here. It's just scouting. Wherever you are, whatever you may be doing, it's possible Mikami will walk in on it. ]

[deadlygoals]

[ Dazai is in the laundromat, climbing into the washer machine. He has one leg already inside of the barrel of the machine, his hands are on the rim, and he's lifting his other leg up just as Mikami walks in. Pausing to stare at him.

hewwo

He sees that notebook. ]

Are you taking notes?

[inordertobelieve]

[ The temptation to simply walk out again is... very high. ]

Yes, to remind myself to not use that machine again. What are you doing?

[deadlygoals]

[ It's a washing machine. The mafia germs will come off after a cycle or two ]

Wanted to see if I could fit.

[ For reasons~~*~*~*~ One leggy is still hanging out.

Just going to turn around and then pull his leg out of the barrel to sit on the edge of the machine instead. ]

[inordertobelieve]

[ The germs will come off, but the memory of this sight is tragically forever. Burned into his retinas for good. ]

Why. I'm going to regret asking this, but why would you want to fit into a washing machine?

cw: suicide/dazai's bullshit

[deadlygoals]

[ He already knows he's going to regret the answer. ]

I'm making my own list of the ways I could kill myself. Suffocation is painful, but it might not be a bad idea here considering some of the alternatives.

[ There is the usual expression on his face. ]

walking the city;

[reanbeans]

[ Rean hadn't been blind to the display, confirming he had no home to return to...among other things.

So he sought the other out. ]

Mikami? Mind if I ask what you're up to?

[inordertobelieve]

[ Contrary to that depressing admission, Mikami actually looks fairly refreshed. He gives Rean a nod in greeting. ]

I'm going over the whole town once again to make sure there's nothing I was missing. We've had a lot of distracting factors in all our time here, so we might not have seen things that would have been obvious to a clear mind.

[reanbeans]

[ Even if he looked fine, Rean still worried. He planned on asking about it. ]

That's fair. I'll look around too and let you know if I notice anything either.

[ Beat. ]

But, do you mind if I ask why you said what you did during the trial? That you had no home to return to?

[inordertobelieve]

[ Mikami is silent for only a moment, not because he specifically cares about hiding this any longer, but because he wants to phrase it in the way that elicits the least pity possible. ]

My home world is fine, if that is of concern. It's my personal life that is of concern. Rembrandt said that I'd die in six days in my homeworld and I have ample reason to believe it. And even if I did not, there are circumstances that prevent me from returning to a normal life.

[reanbeans]

[ Rean listened rather closely and slowly it is telling the worry that washed all over his face at that. In fact it's all concern and nothing else for the moment. ]

Mikami...I'm sorry to hear that.

[ He'll look back to their surroundings for a moment, as in thought before his eyes land back on the other man. ]

I know, considering our situation, there's little that can be done now. But maybe...if things turn out okay, we can talk about a solution for you.

[psychophant]

[Iago's obviously not going to be around much after... all of that... But on Sunday morning he's out in the dining room of the clergy housing. Whenever Mikami stops by, he glances up for a moment before returning to... staring at a blank notepad like he's attempting to work on something, but then after a moment he picks up an envelope and holds it out for Mikami to take. Here you go, take this thing, it's got your name on it.]

[inordertobelieve]

[ Now that's quite the thing to simply receive without explanation. Initially, Mikami doesn't think much of it. Then he realizes this is his home address that nobody in this place should reasonably know. So. Uh. ]

Where did you get this from?

[psychophant]

It was something I received earlier this week from the post office. My apologies for not tracking you down earlier.

[This week has been nothing but mood whiplash, damn.]

If I may ask, what significance does it hold?

[inordertobelieve]

[ Of course. An item from home. Of course. Mikami's fingers tense around the envelope. ]

I've never seen this before.

[ Though it may be unwise to do so in front of Iago, he goes to check the contents and... there's no contents. Which is just as alarming. ]

That makes it significant in itself, since I am suffering minor memory loss.

[psychophant]

You are? It's strange that this would be brought here if you don't even recognize it... Do you believe the memory loss was due to being brought here?

[drydrown]

[You know, sometimes you get so fucking despondent that literally nothing matters anymore, and as it turns out that's a great place to be. Cumore hit that point like two weeks ago to be fair, but since he hit it when things had just begun to suck he's just been a little hedonist ever since.

That said, Mikami is depressing. Zangetsu is also depressing, but he can only deal with so many people at one time and Mikami tends to be...well, okay, saying he's less of a mess to deal with is a blatant lie but he certainly thought it for half a second - surely, this will be less fuckawful than dealing with Zangetsu - and clearly that's going to be what matters here.

...He also stumbles upon Mikami first, so that might also have something to do with it.]

Keeping an eye on things for us...?

[He's being...somewhat less extra. Just for you.]

[inordertobelieve]

[ The whole bullying routine they put on in early weeks feels a little distant now. Cumore is still an intolerable fop, but he hasn't killed anybody yet and he's become slightly less rude. The bar is quickly sinking into quicksand which means Cumore is almost starting to meet it. The implications of this are not something Mikami is willing to really consider.

He gives a nod. ]

Yes. I figure I might as well use the enormous amount of senseless free time we're given to check if there was anything helpful we overlooked. Our numbers are down very far now, we're running out of time to find a way out.

[drydrown]

...Our numbers really are looking rather dismal now, aren't they.

[It's just a statement; he doesn't seem to be feeling too much about it, but then, he doesn't tend to feel a whole lot about anything.]

I take it you're coming up blank so far?

[inordertobelieve]

[ And that gets a deep and honest sigh. Mikami doesn't even care that much for the survival of half of these people either, but strength in numbers would have been nice to have. ]

Completely. The best idea I'm holding on to is whether or not our captors ever leave the city and could be followed, but the state of our food suggests that nothing is fresh. A warehouse in the city but hidden is more likely... I've spoken to Erik about following them, but it's high risk.

[drydrown]

I see.

[And maybe he meant what he said about making ourselves useful, maybe he's just feeling restless. Who knows. Either way...]

If there's anything you require in terms of assistance, I can see what I can do about it. Perhaps.

[notbymyside]

[If Mikami walks over to the opera house on Saturday, he will be able to find Ango writing in a different notebook than usual. He's also writing in Japanese in this one, unlike the list of names he used at the trial (which used latin letters so everyone could understand it).

If he's one to peek, the most recent line he has written is "Following an extensive trial, it came down to two possibilities."

But he pauses there and looks up to Mikami. He makes no attempt to hide what he's writing, he's not being secretive about it. But seeing Mikami makes him concerned.]

Mikami? Are you alright?

[inordertobelieve]

[ Mikami is in fact peeking for just a moment, mostly because the familiar writing system caught him off-guard. It's nice to see something that isn't in magically readable Polish for once... ]

I'm fine. This trial has been as exhausting as the others, but I believe we're all getting used to it by now. How about you?

[notbymyside]

Feeling a little guilty, honestly. I could have gotten Rideaux killed.

[And Erik, technically. But they had voted correctly in the end, so it was alright.

Also Ango is biased because he actually likes Rideaux and talks to him sometimes, so.]

[inordertobelieve]

[ Mikami nods sympathetically at that. ]

Getting something wrong in court is a heavy burden.. I cannot blame you for making mistakes based on an honest desire to bring a culprit to justice, though. And we did get it right in the end.